Welcome to the College Football Hater Report: A breakdown of some of the players, teams and trends around the sport that deserve ire. If you’re not a fellow pessimist, proceed with caution. This is inspired by Brad Botkin’s NBA Hater Report.
Steve Sarkisian thinks we’re stupid
During Monday’s press conference, Texas coach Steve Sarkisian was asked why his 7-3 team had underachieved this season. Mid-question, he cut in.
“According to who?”
To be fair, it’s not Sarkisian’s job to care about the preseason AP Poll, where Texas was selected No. 1 for the first time in program history. It’s not his job to pay attention to the expectations for his offense, which ranks 13th out of 16 teams in the SEC in yards per game since conference play started. It’s not his job to read what people were saying about his program on the heels of a 35-10 loss at Georgia. And he was a day away from learning Texas would drop from No. 10 all the way to No. 17 in the latest College Football Playoff rankings, all but squashing any possible playoff argument out of Austin should the Longhorns win out.
But it is Sarkisian’s job to know that he took the No. 1 overall quarterback recruit and preseason Heisman contender and delivered a passing offense that rates bottom half in the conference. To see his program’s offensive line play fell off a cliff the second that All-American tackle Kelvin Banks left. To realize his teams have 83 total yards rushing against Georgia in three matchups over the last 13 months. To understand that something is wrong with his vaunted defense, which has been exposed through the air in recent weeks.
Sarkisian is getting paid $10.8 million a year to diagnose and fix all these problems. An offseason solution, in this writer’s opinion, would include hiring an offensive coordinator. He will be afforded every opportunity to get this program back to the CFP (and by the way, he adamantly said Wednesday he’s not leaving). But there are more problems in Austin than at any point since Sarkisian got Texas rolling again, and that just should not be the case. Why play dumb?
If the only expectations Sarkisian cares about are his own, then how would he even define an underachievement? Well, an intrepid social media user went back to Nov. 22, 2021 — almost four years ago to the day – when Sarkisian pretty explicitly laid out the expectations for his program.
“If I was in Year 4 of our program and I had three or four losses already right now and I was banging this drum of where we’re going to be three or four years from now and we’re still not there, then I would be concerned,” Sarkisian said at the time. “…in Year 4, if I’m sitting here with three or four losses, then I would probably be more concerned.”
Less than four years later, Texas is 7-3 and coming off a 25-point loss to No. 5 Georgia. Even one month ago, Sarkisian acknowledged the new reality for Texas, which had reached the CFP in 2023 and 2024.
“We’ve raised the bar from where we were when I got here to where we are now,” Sarkisian said in October. “We’re a playoff team. That’s what we are now. When that becomes the standard, we all have to go hold ourselves to that standard.”
On Monday, though, Sarkisian put the weight of any failed expectations at the feet of “who voted us No. 1.”
Sarkisian doesn’t have to gaslight his fanbase. It’s frustrating to have a disappointing season. But he’s basked in enough success in recent years that it would not kill him acknowledge the bar deserves to be higher than 7-3 (with two games to go) after fielding one of the highest investment rosters in the history of college football.
Julian Sayin doesn’t have a real Heisman case
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No. 1 Ohio State is the best team in college football, and it’s not that close. The Buckeyes are obliterating opponents in all phases and are in great shape to join Georgia as the only back-to-back national champions of the playoff era.
In the wake of their success, quarterback Julian Sayin has emerged as the program’s candidate for the Heisman Trophy. Wide receiver Jeremiah Smith is the consensus best player in America, but his numbers are lackluster as the Buckeyes spread the ball. So, according to FanDuel, Sayin trails only Indiana’s Fernando Mendoza in Heisman odds.
Frankly, there’s a really good case that Sayin is the best quarterback in America. The former five-star recruit is completing 80.1% of his passes for 2,675 yards, 25 touchdowns and only four interceptions. Sayin is on pace to shatter Bo Nix’s completion percentage record. When he’s called upon, he flashes with the best.
The thing is, Sayin is almost never called upon.
For a second, let’s look at Ohio State’s biggest games: No. 1 Texas, No. 17 Illinois and Washington. The Buckeyes approached all three of those games in the same way: They basically punted on the passing game!
In those three games, Sayin threw the ball only 25 times per game with an average depth of target of 6.6 yards. Against all other FBS opponents, Sayin has thrown the ball 31.3 times per game for 9.4 yards per attempt. Sayin threw for only 166.7 yards per game in those three wins, compared to 311.5 in the six others.
That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with that. Credit to coach Ryan Day and his staff for putting Sayin in a position to succeed. When the time comes in the College Football Playoff, that game management will pay off, just like it did during a dominant CFP run last season. But certainly, there haven’t been many Heisman Trophy winners that a team hid in high-leverage spots.
Also, Sayin is — at best — the third-best player on his team. Smith and safety Caleb Downs are better by a wide margin. Receiver Carnell Tate and linebacker Arvell Reese have been awesome and could be early 2026 NFL Draft picks. Cases could be made for defensive linemen Caden Curry and Kayden McDonald, and linebacker Sonny Styles too.
The Heisman Trophy is about being the most outstanding player in the country, and elevating a program to new heights. While Sayin is a star in the making, he is simply a luxury at Ohio State, not a necessity. There is time to change my mind here. Michigan in the season finale and then, likely, Indiana in the Big Ten Championship give the Buckeyes two marquee opportunities to let Sayin loose in a high-leverage spot — should they even find themselves in one.
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