A lesser-known fact about vampires is that they actually do need to sleep. Despite what Edward Cullen might have told you, true vampires need to rest during the day — preferably on the unholy soil of their motherland, taken from atop their own grave. Thankfully, the folks at Universal have crafted the perfect gift for anyone looking to satisfy the blood suckers in their life with this official Nosferatu replica sarcophagus.
And it’s only $20,000! A steal, if you ask us, since when we started writing this story it was listed for sale at $25,000 a coff!
From the official description:
For the best sleep of your life. A full-size replica Sarcophagus bed as featured in Robert Eggers’ Nosferatu. Hand crafted from premium materials including a wooden base with intricate carvings. These highly collectible Sarcophagi also feature a distinctive interior with a custom-fit mattress and foam lid for easy opening at sundown. Beds are made to order. Limited run.
Who In The What And Why Does This Curséd Sleep Coffin Exist?
It’s a valid question: who in the world would need a replica of the sarcophagus used in Robert Eggers‘ upcoming adaptation of the classic 1922 film? To which I say: who doesn’t need a 250-pound replica sarcophagus? Who hasn’t wondered what it would be like to sleep inside the smooth, sensory-deprivation that sarcophagus walls provide? Why don’t you feel the need to cosplay the ol’ sleeping rituals of sweet, misunderstood, un-dead bloodgoblin, Count Orlok? Who are you, and why do you judge the simple needs of others?
Of course, you could also simply be a rational human who understands that any purchase of such a thing is ostensibly a very real cry for help (get thee to a sleep study and/or a therapist, my bud). But then again…you know the old sayings: Sleep when you’re dead! Sleep like you’re dead! Sleep is for the weak! Well, now you can do all of that simultaneously, while catching up on sleep fit for the un-dead in need of a mental reboot — like Nosferatu.
Related
Bill Skarsgård Hated His ‘Nosferatu’ Prosthetics at First: “Ugh, I Look Like a Goblin”
“That doesn’t look anything like me. What the f*ck?”
The upcoming adaptation of Nosferatu by Robert Eggers features Bill Skarsgård in the role of Count Orlok, alongside Willem DaFoe, Lily-Rose Depp, Nicholas Hoult, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Emma Corrin, and more. The classic gothic tale tells the story of the terrifying, terrorizing vampire and the young woman who seems to be enthralled with and/or by him. It is a remake of a classic, 1922 German film, which was itself based on Bram Stoker’s classic 1897 novel, Dracula.
Just note: it may feel like the perfect Christmas gift for that cranky light sleeper in your life, but unfortunately, these nocturnal enclosures won’t ship out until February 5, 2025, so they’re likely to make a better Valentine’s Day gift instead. And should you be coming up short on ideas of what else to get your un-dead lover, the NBCUniversal store has some great options for you, as evidenced by their “Frequently Bought Together” suggestions below:
Because, truly, no vampire is fully dressed without a “Turd Ferguson” t-shirt. You know what I mean?
Nosferatu is a remake of the 1922 silent film of the same name from director F. W. Murnau. Robert Eggers is crafting his own version of the story for the reboot as writer and director, with Bill Skarsgård stepping into the shoes of Count Orlok. Nosferatu tells the tale of a young woman who falls victim to a vampire utterly infatuated with her.
- Release Date
- December 25, 2024
- Runtime
- 2h 12m
- Main Genre
- Horror
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