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Joaquin Phoenix’s Worst Role Was Playing Himself in ‘I’m Still Here’

Joaquin Phoenix’s Worst Role Was Playing Himself in ‘I’m Still Here’

Joaquin Phoenix may be one of the most revered actors in recent cinematic history, but his method-acting mockumentary I’m Still Here nearly halted the trajectory of his entire career upon its release in 2010. Not to be confused with the recent Oscar-winning Brazilian film of the same name, I’m Still Here (streaming on Prime Video) follows Phoenix as he plays a caricatured version of himself who has announced his retirement from acting and decided to pursue a rap career.

As the years pass, watching I’m Still Here grows more and more sinister in feeling, especially considering the involvement of certain personnel, like director Casey Affleck, and (double especially) Sean “Diddy” Combs. While the film is satirical in nature, it still goes down in history as a miss for Phoenix and a general blemish on his otherwise impressive career.

What’s the Premise of ‘I’m Still Here’?

Magnolia Pictures

I’m Still Here probably sounds totally outlandish, and it is. Granted, that is the point. Phoenix and Affleck, his brother-in-law at the time, were amazed by how willingly the public accepted reality television as unscripted truth. As an elaborate experiment, they created I’m Still Here. Phoenix actually announced to Hollywood that he was quitting acting to pursue rap music and “lived” in the role for several months. He parties, engages with call girls, performs his original music at venues throughout L.A., and makes various public appearances to give the impression that he has actually shifted his career trajectory.

Phoenix pursues Combs as the producer of his debut album, and Combs himself appears in the film several times. A slew of (mostly) unproblematic familiar faces show up in I’m Still Here as well, including Jack Nicholson, Robin Williams, Natalie Portman, Ben Stiller, Danny DeVito, Billy Crystal, Sean Penn, Jamie Foxx, Robin Wright, and Hugh Grant, all of whom appear as themselves.

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I’m Still Here was meant to be a one-of-a-kind film that “explored celebrity, and explored the relationship between the media and the consumers and the celebrities themselves,” according to Affleck. It is, admittedly, an interesting concept. Phoenix goes perhaps the most method any actor has ever gone for his role as himself, as for months on end, the public genuinely thought he was quitting acting to be a rapper and was behaving quite badly. When critics started to see the “documentary” itself, no one could exactly pinpoint if it was serious or not. It took a long time for any production companies to pick it up, because everyone was just…earnestly fooled and confused.

Why Is ‘I’m Still Here’ So Bad?

Joaquin Phoenix in a suit and sunglasses in I'm Still Here movie

Magnolia Pictures

If I may speak to you directly for a moment, there were times that watching I’m Still Here actually made me feel sick to my stomach. Look, I get the point. I get that all the awful things Phoenix and the gang do in I’m Still Here are in service of accomplishing their message. However, just because something is “satirical” or “meta” does not make it enjoyable to watch. It also does not inherently remove all culpability.

Whereas something like Borat manages to make more of a salient statement and is actually funny, I’m Still Here is just remarkably uncomfortable, and not in any boundary-breaking way. For one, having to see Combs speak to Phoenix in 2010, knowing everything that we know now, and everything that at least some people must have known then, is so ridiculously unsettling. I’m Still Here is sort of preposterously lewd, featuring a ton of nudity (at least the men are getting naked, too?), drug use, and even defecation. With a grainy camera quality as the cherry on top, I’m Still Here is incredibly hard to sit through.

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If you are like me, and you did not know that this movie existed prior to today, this may come as a bit of a shock. I was disheartened to find out that Phoenix, whom I have always regarded as one of the most dynamic, exciting actors working today, could have possibly done such a thing. Why, Joaquin, why? If anything, ironically, it does serve as a bit of good commentary on celebrity. (This really showed me that I should be careful about who I publicly venerate.)

Considering that two women accused Affleck of sexual misconduct on the set of I’m Still Here, whether the content of the mockumentary is “good” is no longer relevant in discussing the ways in which it’s so bad. In the pursuit of what was essentially an ego-based improv exercise, real people were hurt and violated. Numerous alleged predators were involved in the making of a poorly executed point – a point which has been well-made in other films and documentaries. I’m Still Here was not worth it, and hopefully, Phoenix recognizes that now.


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